Life, or something resembling it!

Hello, friends.

Um, I've been really busy lately. Sickeningly busy. Like, need to take a deep breath, don't have time to pee during school, ready to poke my eyes out with an ice pick, think it's time for a lobotomy busy. Thankfully, some of the things keeping me busy are awesome. Not so luckily, most of what's keeping me busy is stressful and anxiety-inducing. But I take each day as it comes and try to keep my chin up, cause that's the only way to get out of this thing alive and kicking!

So what have I been up to, you may ask? Well, let's start with school. My days and weeks are full. So full. Like, waaaaay fuller than they were in high school. And unfortunately, there is so much busy work, I can't quite get away with skimping on the reading or avoiding certain assignments. Unlike college, where there was a paper every couple of weeks and reading I occassionally managed to avoid, HUC makes a point of pushing their students to the limit academically. I have nine classes, school Sunday-Thursday from 8:30-4:30, community service projects, three Kabbalat Shabbat services to plan (to be fair, two are voluntary) a D'var Torah to write for a February Shacharit service, and the strangest additional assignments one could imagine. (Tomorrow night our entire class is simulating the 1906 Duma Elections in Russia, and I represent the Communists. Go Red!)

Now, I am someone who responds well to a full load. I enjoy taking on multiple things at once and thrive on being busy. But this is... well, it's overkill. It's just a bit too much. And sadly, it's causing much stress, anxiety, and frustration amongst my peers. I try to promote my good moods, if and when I have them, and seek out the shining moments in an otherwise stressful week. But it's really a challenge, and all of it is exacerbated by my homesickness, my Adam-sickness, and my deep disappointment that our schedules prevent the exploration of Israel. Isn't that why we're 6,000+ miles from home?

Anyway, as for the good things I've been doing, well... there are plenty. Last weekend Leslie and I ventured to Tel Aviv for a truly awful showing of the opera "Salome." We had a great time together, but the opera was incredibly bizarre and made no sense to either of us. But the food was good, it was great to escape Jlem for a few hours, and we shared many laughs along the way. It was also so good to just get some culture, plus we were surrounded by so many well-dressed Israelis! It just felt good to do that, to not be surrounded by a bunch of frummy, depressed-looking religious people draped in black and hollering on about the Messiah's arrival. Despite the hilarity of the shittiness of the show, we really enjoyed our evening.

Last week my school visited the Leo Baeck High School in Haifa, and it was an incredible experience. A school based on Reform Judaism ideology, they stress the importance of being a mensch; a worldly, compassionate human being. I loved it, and I want to send my kids there!

Thursday Morning T'filah in the Leo Baeck Elementary

We also managed to participate in/observe a Thursday morning T'filah with the newly-formed elementary schoolchildren. At first we all cooed over how cute they were. But as the service went on. I realized that the kids were all singing along to melodies I myself knew from the states, guitar-based, Reform tunes to songs and prayers in Hebrew. They were praying together, reading from a siddur with pictures, and those student sh'lichei tzibbur (service leaders) were saying some beautiful, meaningful things. It moved me and put tears in my eyes, so I engaged.

Taking my seat next to a group of kids, I looked on with them and spoke quietly in Hebrew. Asking them questions about the siddur and prayers, they were completely engaged and enthusiastic. They kept asking me questions and looked so incredibly dazzled by me, this strange looking woman from the outside world. At some point, one of the kids turned and said "at studentit rabbanit?" (are you a female rabbinical student) When I said yes, the group did the Israeli equivalent of shrugging their shoulders, smiling, and saying "cool!" This nonchalant, of-course-a-woman-can-be-a-rabbi, isn't-that-awesome response absolutely made my day. Here is an entire generation of Israeli Jews raised on the progressive mindset I hope to espouse as a rabbi. It was really quite a cool moment.

And finally, let's talk about Thanksgiving! Or In Hebrew: Chag Hoddia, Turkey Holiday.

This is just the non-dairy spread... if only I'd captured the variety of creamy mashed potatoes and more...

Definitely a good, colorful selection!

The Thanksgiving celebration at HUC was wonderful; one for the scrapbooks. Organized beautifully by my dear friend Leslie, it featured the most incredible variety of food I have ever seen. As I've mentioned before, my peers are the most talented bunch of cooks! We had four huge turkeys, each prepared differently and deliciously by various friends. We had cranberry sauces, potato dishes, carrots, green beans, stuffing, biscuits, squash and so much more! My glazed carrots were a hit (I think) and the entire thing was supplemented by the most extraordinary desserts. My personal favorite? Pumpkin pie. Oh Em Gee, it is so good.

But more than the food, the Thanksgiving gathering demonstrated how close our HUC community has grown in the past five (!!) months. While T-giving has never been an especially poignant holiday for me, rather just a time to get together and munch with the nuclear family and our dear friends the Browns, many of my friends were sad to miss out on familial traditions. They leaned on us, we leaned on each other, and put together a tremendous celebration for ourselves. It was a marvelous evening, and I'll cherish it forever.

Happy, full HUCsters Ari, Leslie, and me

So what's on tap for the next few weeks? Lots of school, two retreats, (both work related) my official Kabbalat Shabbat-leading service, and eventually, finals! Oy vey. I'm both incredibly excited and tremendously sad that the halfway point of our year comes December 13. While I definitely cannot wait to return home to the people I love, I will be deeply saddened when this adventure comes to a close. I am scheduled to visit LA in January during my winter break, and know that visit will recharge and re-energize me, to come back and face the remainder of my time here in Jerusalem. It's a funny thing to near the halfway point and look behind and ahead.

It's also so interesting to see how far I've come in my perceptions of things here. Reading my first few blog posts just fascinates me; to observe my early thoughts and see how they've developed, especially with everything that's gone on the past five months... well, it just blows me away. Despite my frustrations, despite the homesickness, and in spite of the challenges of this year... I am having an incredible adventure and learning more about myself each and every day.

Sending lots of love back home,

Jaclyn