And Just Like That... It was Done

This particular post makes me pine for the days of Live Journal, when you could use a little figure to denote your mood and choose a song that expressed how you were feeling. Nevertheless, I'm going to break that mold and tell you my mood AND my song RIGHT NOW. 

Mood: Anxiously Elated 

Song: "Even Better than the Real Thing," by U2 (Achtung Baby) 

About an hour and a half ago, I completed my first year of rabbinical school. Final final finished, every last paper turned in, goodbyes said, every necessary piece of closure completed. I'm kind of in shock, and not really sure what to do with myself, but I'm happy and relieved to be done, and very much looking forward to going home. 

It's a little bit unsettling and bizarre to be done; to be walking around an apartment that's half-packed and fully messy, thinking about the last-minute things I have to do before I leave Saturday night. I'm a bit in limbo, but I'm also in celebration mode. As we say in Hebrew, it's a little gam v'gam.

I cannot believe that I made it through this year. Literally. Can. Not. Believe. What. I. Just. Did. When Adam left back in September I remember him telling me how much he looked forward to me coming home in May because I would feel so accomplished; that if I could make it through this, I could make it through anything. And you know what? He was one hundred percent right.

This was by far and away the toughest year of my life. I don't think I've ever been so challenged by so many different elements - by school, by people, by Judaism, by Israel, by my own health; it seemed this year that every time I thought I'd figured one thing out, something else would pop up in its place and go "Oh, hey you! Yeah, you! LOOK AT ME I AM TALKING TO YOU! FIGURE ME OUT RIGHT THIS SECOND OR I WILL PUNISH YOU MUAH HA HA HA!" (That's my way of explaining the ubiquitous menace in my Israeli life. Deal with it.)

And I never thought I'd say this, but I am so grateful that this was not an easy year. I'm incredibly appreciative of what it's taught me. I'm proud of myself for sticking it out and making it through eleven months in an entirely different universe, dealing with each challenge thrown my way and learning and growing as a person in the process. I'm proud of myself for doing it all on my own - an independent woman - without my beloved Jew Fro by my side. And while it wasn't a perfect year, it was an amazing one. I know that I will never, ever be able to relive what I just did in any other place, in any other capacity, in any other time of my life. I feel incredibly blessed to have had this year here. 

And so I thank you, Israel. Thank you HUC. Thank you Ramban Street, and Wolfson Medical Center, and Asaf Gershon my laundry man, and the fresh juice guy across from Supersol. Thank you Shabbat, and thank you TaNaKh, and thank you Hebrew. Thank you Ben Yehuda Street, and Zuni and Link and Chakra, and thank you Bar-On in the Old City for providing my family with Jew-y gifts. Thank you Tel Aviv and Haifa and the Galil; thank you Negev and Arava and Petra, and especially Binyamina. Todah Rabah l'ha kol. 

Thank you, all of you, who kept up with this journey of mine. Thank you for your love, your support, and above all else, for making me laugh. 

I'm off to get a massage. My body and soul deserve it! 

With love, 

Jaclyn